At about the age of 12, plus or minus, a child's body and brain are flooded with growth hormones to begin the physical development needed to become an adult. The growth period lasts about ten years. We call it adolescence. During this gradual transformation, the child...
I recently talked with a mom who was discouraged because her attempts to try some new listening techniques hadn't worked for her. She said they felt strange and she often forgot to use them. So she gave up trying. This is not an uncommon story. And there are reasons...
Youth is a time of growth, and it also needs to be a time for lots of learning. I've explained how with "4 Magic Questions" you can help your child get stronger from successes and mistakes. Being the parent you want to be can also mean learning for you. These same...
I guess I'm a natural introvert, meaning I spend most of my time in my head, not interacting with people. Not that I can't engage; I just prefer reflecting about the world around me. It's a pattern that has served me well in learning, researching, and writing....
In many ways, I'm thrilled to put 2020 in my rear-view mirror. The awful Covid-19 pandemic. Also, this was the year my family moved to a new home. It's a nice home, and that's the good news. The bad news is that moving was a mentally and physically arduous process...
During the first 12 years, you may have enjoyed a close, affectionate relationship with your child. But after puberty, things change. Your child wants to put early childhood in the past, and the push for self-definition and independence begins. The older teens get,...
In his classic parenting book, The Wonder of Boys, psychologist Michael Gurian claims that “three families – not one” are needed to raise a healthy child to be a happy, successful adult. The first family is the “nuclear family”—the parents and grandparents who raise...
A teenager made a dumb mistake and damaged a tool. His father, angry, shouted at him about carelessness and irresponsibility. No love, understanding or respect was communicated in the heated interchange. The boy felt like a failure and resented his father for putting...
A few years ago my wife and I were doing some recreational house-hunting. While viewing a beautiful home, she commented, "I like this house but we'd need to replace all the tile floors." I thought the tile was nice. After mentally estimating the cost of replacement, I...
What is it like to be a child? Do you have any memory of this? A refresher: Compared to any adult, a child is lacking in almost every way. Physically smaller than an adult, without financial resources, and woefully lacking in understanding about how the world and...