Fifty years ago, I began my graduate work at Duke University. Although I was an Army captain, a graduate of West Point and the Army Ranger School, and a decorated combat veteran of the Vietnam War, my main interest was literature. I was a published poet, I won First...
It’s often said that experience is the best teacher and that the value of mistakes is that you can learn from them. There’s a lot of wisdom in this. It's why we don't want to protect our kids from every mistake and failure while they're growing up. If an activity...
This weekend we're headed to Corpus Christie to celebrate our niece's wedding. Since our go-to cat sitter isn't available, we found a 15-year-old young man who wanted the job. He came to our home to be briefed, and I had a chance to talk with him. Me - "School starts...
I know several parents whose child is fast approaching adolescence. Even raising a sweet child can be difficult in many ways, but after puberty the challenges change. Middle school-aged children don't want to be treated like sweet little kids anymore. Far from being...
My book, How Your Teen Can Grow a Smarter Brain, and most of the hundreds of articles on this blog, address how to encourage, support and coach a young person during the adolescent years to wire their prefrontal cortex (PFC) for the thinking skills that they'll need...
Should you give advice? The answer is the same whether you're relating to another adult or to a teenager. One of my friends has an interesting idiosyncrasy. Whenever we talk, his way of interacting with me is to give me advice. I think he does this because he's...
During the first 12 years, you may have enjoyed a close, affectionate relationship with your child. But after puberty, things change. Your child wants to put early childhood in the past, and the push for self-definition and independence begins. The older teens get,...
In a separate post, I quoted Dr. Jay Giedd, the pioneering brain researcher who discovered that the prefrontal cortex (PFC) is still under development during a child's adolescence, that this is the "smart" area of the brain, and that wiring the PFC will vary greatly...
I've posted before about the importance of critical thinking and the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for a young person to lay down a foundation of critical thinking skills in the developing prefrontal cortex - what I often refer to as "the smart part" of the brain....
When you were in high school, did you take that Parent-Child Relationship Skills course? I'm sorry - trick question. No such course has ever been included in a high school curriculum. Well, how about college? No? Any other course in your church or community or even...