You’ve probably heard it said that being a parent is the hardest job in the world. Children are a joy, but they surprise you and challenge you to do things you didn’t know you’d ever have to do. Often just getting through a day can be a major achievement. You have to be strong to show up and be the kind of parent you want to be.
I’m talking about character strength, a widely misunderstood concept.
People talk about “character” as if it’s a single trait. But it’s not one aspect of who you are, and it’s not a trait. Character strength is real only when it is manifest in action, and it consists of many different behavior patterns. Because these behaviors are observable and can be strengthened with practice, I call them character skills. When well developed, these skills can empower you to succeed doing the hard things in life—doing what’s right, as well as doing what’s effective.
After studying, writing, and speaking about this for decades, I’ve settled on a description of character strength to 36 skills that most significantly contribute to success in three major areas of life:
Building a stronger self: Self-awareness, Self-development, Self-discipline, Self-confidence, Self-esteem, Humility, Optimism, Resilience, Rationality, Courage, Composure, and Patience.
Building stronger relationships: Honesty, Integrity, Tolerance, Forgiveness, Empathy, Compassion, Generosity, Fairness, Loyalty, Trust, Cooperation, and Service
Building a stronger work ethic: Commitment, Responsibility, Accountability, Initiative, Creativity, Proactivity, Decisiveness, Perseverance, Effort, Excellence, Open-mindedness, and Flexibility
As you scan the list, keep in mind that like any skills, with practice you can strengthen your capacity to use them. Focusing on one or two skills at a time and regularly applying them in your daily life, you can establish them as behavior patterns.
I wrote the recently published book, Grow Strong Character, to guide you in this effort.