What if you had great communication skills? Some parents do! But most don’t. When parents connect in ways that strengthen the bond with their child, kids are more open to…
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Fifty years ago, I began my graduate work at Duke University. Although I was an Army captain, a graduate of West Point and the Army Ranger School, and a decorated…
Discouragement is when someone experiences loss, adversity, or failure and as a result they lose confidence in their own strengths and abilities to cope. They lose heart. This happens to…
Have you ever looked up at the night sky on a clear night to see the North Star? If you can spot the Big Dipper, follow the line from the…
In many ways, I’m thrilled to put 2020 in my rear-view mirror. The awful Covid-19 pandemic, managed awfully by our nation’s leaders. The result: tens of millions of Americans sickened,…
Even though kids are a work-in-progress, their current knowledge, skills, values, attitudes and motivation can lead to more learning and achievement. They may also bring a unique set of core…
Communicating well is a foundation element of effective parenting. How can you be a parent to your child without communicating? Whenever there are problems between parent and child, ineffective communication…
Once again, I’m delighted to feature a guest post from Elisabeth Stitt, author of Parenting as a Second Language and esteemed parent coach. Elisabeth is the founder of Joyful Parenting…
If your child should receive a request for a nude pic, how do you think they would react? You’d be surprised how many young people would laugh and consider it…
“There’s nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly.” – Buckminster Fuller This quote made me think of my West Point class. Before I arrived there,…
It seems like yesterday when I published Conversations with the Wise Uncle: The Secret to Being Strong as a Teenager and Preparing for Success as an Adult (First Summit, 2012). Eight…
A young father was telling me about his two children, a seven-year-old girl and a three-year-old boy. “My daughter is an angel, but my little boy is a terror. He…
I’ve lived long enough to be aware of the sometimes remarkable paths that lives take. When I was a West Point cadet, my activities and achievements were quite a bit…
It’s hard enough managing everything in a life – home, meals, bills, etc. Add to that being exhausted from a stressful job or raising kids. Or both! And further, add…
Here’s a quote worth reading and thinking about, from Frank Martin, head coach of the South Carolina men’s basketball team: “You know what makes me sick to my stomach? When…
I know several parents whose child is fast approaching adolescence. Even raising a sweet child can be difficult in many ways, but after puberty the challenges change. Middle school-aged children…
First, here’s what I mean by “smart.” One long-accepted understanding of “smart” involves acquiring knowledge: learning facts and basic principles. This is the primary business of middle school and high…
Not long ago, I had a conversation with a local physician. Happily, we didn’t talk about my health. Instead, he spoke enthusiastically about his three children, two boys and a…
What does it mean to be a parent? Every spring, a pair of swallows arrives at our front porch to update their nest and nurture offspring. A month or so…
Caring parents who consider the advice of experts are on a journey to “get better” at raising well-adjusted adults who succeed in life and work. But it’s not easy. It’s…
In my new book, How Your Teen Can Grow a Smarter Brain, I explain that adolescence is a sensitive time window for developing foundation thinking skills in the prefrontal cortex…
Every parent I’ve ever met hopes their teen will grow up to be a capable, successful adult, even though we all have seen instances of the opposite. Realistically, wonderful things…
I recently had a conversation with a local physician. Happily, we didn’t talk about my health. Instead, he spoke enthusiastically about his three children, two boys and a girl, all…
My wife and I share a lot in common, but in one interesting way, we are quite different. She drinks a lot of water every day. Wherever she goes, she…
In my first draft of the above title, the word “Underprivileged” appeared before “Kids.” But the game I’m talking about is chess, which can help make any kid smarter, not…
During the first 12 years, you may have enjoyed a close, affectionate relationship with your child. But after puberty, things change. Your child wants to put early childhood in the past, and…
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” I love this quote. For me, this plea for compassion hits home more than any other quote on the…
We were excited. Bewick’s wrens had been building a nest in the little house we had put up to attract them. We watched for days as the male and female…
I know that not everyone wants to “be all you can be.” Not everyone is serious enough about personal growth to do something about it. A whole lot of people…
Why would a teenager do something as stupid as engaging in one of the teen challenges, such as binge-drinking, or swallowing a spoonful of cinnamon, or snorting a condom. Quite…
In a separate post, I quoted Dr. Jay Giedd, the pioneering brain researcher who discovered that the prefrontal cortex (PFC) is still under development during a child’s adolescence, that this is…
The second 10 years of a child’s life is their last opportunity to prepare for the challenges of adult life. This guest post was written by Elisabeth Stitt, a parenting expert…
Epictetus (c. 55 – 135) was born a slave in Turkey nearly 2,000 years ago and then lived in Rome until he was banished to Greece. He was one of…
Is your child resilient? Do you want your child to be more resilient? A non-scientific definition: Resilience is the ability to recover or “bounce back” from loss, stress, or disappointment…
I’ve posted before about the importance of critical thinking and the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for a young person to lay down a foundation of critical thinking skills in the developing prefrontal cortex…
During the first few months of life, parents show lots of colorful, noise-making objects to their infant. Slowly, the baby learns to pay attention. The child is doing the work to program the neural…
What will the next step be? College? A job? Technical training? A gap year? Missionary work? Military service? Marriage and a family? Every parent who has raised a teenager to…
I was thinking about my mother recently. A few months before she died, Mom and I were talking on the phone about my seven brothers and sisters. I joked that she…
Compliments. Praise. Recognition. Affirmation. Gratitude. Appreciation. Positive feedback. Positive strokes. Pats on the back. Constructive feedback. Good stuff! Unfortunately, most of the feedback we give our kids is negative. You…
Self-esteem is how people see themselves – their perception of self-worth, who they believe they are. Low self-esteem can build from making mistakes, from not forgiving oneself, and from too…
I’ve written two books, Conversations with the Wise Uncle (for boys) and Conversations with the Wise Aunt (for girls) that are fictional accounts about an older relative mentoring a young person during the teen…
My dad was a really nice guy. But I remember that when I was a teenager, he lost his temper with me three times. Yes, exactly three times. And the…