If you found out your teen daughter was experiencing pressure from the cool kids to “hook up” with boys, would you encourage her to go along in order to be…
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With every choice, there is a consequence. And the situation of that consequence sets up another choice. One choice after another, we create our life paths and become who we…
I’ve lived long enough to be aware of the sometimes remarkable paths that lives take. When I was a West Point cadet, my activities and achievements were quite a bit…
Helping an adolescent child grow up to be a happy, successful, and independent adult has never been easy. Try doing it without a spouse. Or both parents having to work…
I once had a conversation with an intelligent woman about the value of team sports. She said emphatically that the idea that team sports promoted teen development was utter nonsense…
My wife has an amazing mind. She’s always my first reader for feedback about my work. She catches nearly all mistakes, points out ways to improve my writing, and makes…
On a clear day Rise and look around you, And you’ll see who you are. On a clear day How it will astound you That the glow of your being…
It’s hard enough managing everything in a life – home, meals, bills, etc. Add to that being exhausted from a stressful job or raising kids. Or both! And further, add…
In another post about teen driving, I made this recommendation: The key is for your prospective young driver to prove that he or she is responsible enough for you to…
My wife and I were going to visit a friend. Our route took us to a stop sign at a T-junction at an Interstate access road. We could turn left…
Here’s a quote worth reading and thinking about, from Frank Martin, head coach of the South Carolina men’s basketball team: “You know what makes me sick to my stomach? When…
Not long ago, I had a conversation with a local physician. Happily, we didn’t talk about my health. Instead, he spoke enthusiastically about his three children, two boys and a…
I saw something striking while shopping for groceries the other day. A young boy, about 13 years old, was walking just ahead of his parents. No, not walking. Sort of…
I recently had breakfast with some friends who have a graduating high school senior. He’s a great kid who wants to be a speech therapist and has been accepted into…
Caring parents who consider the advice of experts are on a journey to “get better” at raising well-adjusted adults who succeed in life and work. But it’s not easy. It’s…
In my new book, How Your Teen Can Grow a Smarter Brain, I explain that adolescence is a sensitive time window for developing foundation thinking skills in the prefrontal cortex…
Should you give advice? The answer is the same whether you’re relating to another adult or to a teenager. One of my friends has an interesting idiosyncrasy. Whenever we talk,…
In my posts, “Video Game Addiction and Brain Damage” and “Teen Smartphones and Social Networking – Buyer Beware” I described potential threats to normal teen brain development. If you read these…
My wife and I share a lot in common, but in one interesting way, we are quite different. She drinks a lot of water every day. Wherever she goes, she…
One of the underlying themes of my writing is that parents of teens need to be realistic. But being realistic doesn’t necessarily imply some kind of worst-case scenario. Because realistically,…
“Every year, teens are asked about their general happiness, in addition to how they spend their time. We found that teens who spent more time seeing their friends in person,…
During the first 12 years, you may have enjoyed a close, affectionate relationship with your child. But after puberty, things change. Your child wants to put early childhood in the past, and…
The other day I pulled up to an intersection where I turn left to leave my community – something I’ve done hundreds of times. I looked both ways, began my…
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” I love this quote. For me, this plea for compassion hits home more than any other quote on the…
About the teen brain, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good news. Nearly every adult I talk to these days has heard about the teen brain. Fifteen…
Smartphones are an amazing window into a world of countless marvels and dangers. Since kids have a lot to learn, giving a child a smartphone needs to be done with exquisite…
Today, most phone calls are made using wireless smartphones, relayed by Wi-Fi devices in your home or distant radio towers. What we used to call telephones are now called landlines,…
Money matters can get complicated. Buying what you need and want while living within your means. Purchasing the right amount of insurance. Investing wisely and saving for your child’s college…
When it comes to sex education, parents need to learn more about how our culture sexualizes their kids. This guest post, which addresses this “blind spot,” comes from Elizabeth McDade-Montez,…
You see those beautiful eyes and that heart-melting smile. What you don’t see (and probably rarely think about) is what’s going on in your child’s brain, which is steadily growing,…
We were excited. Bewick’s wrens had been building a nest in the little house we had put up to attract them. We watched for days as the male and female…
When I was a kid there were no parenting books, unless you want to count Dr. Benjamin Spock’s classic on baby and child care. Parents were guided by their instincts,…
Parenting Fundamentals 1-5 were presented in Part One. Here are 6-10: 6. Help your child build a strong work ethic. When I was 15 I mowed my aunt’s lawn with…
I’ve been researching, studying, and writing about parenting for several years now, and the other day I was taken by surprise by something new. Adulting I had never heard the…
Why would a teenager do something as stupid as engaging in one of the teen challenges, such as binge-drinking, or swallowing a spoonful of cinnamon, or snorting a condom. Quite…
The surveys and statistics bear it out: teens are misusing drugs and alcohol at younger and younger ages. Parents are often unaware that it’s begun, since the warning signs can…
Simon Sinek is an author and brilliant speaker who has important messages for corporate America. So why am I recommending that parents listen in? The answer: Millennials – a new, really different…
If you read news articles, you know that it’s not uncommon to read about murder. I learn about such incidents all too often; I reflect on the loss of life,…
I recently spoke with a mother of three boys, ages 11, 13 and 15. She told me she and her husband plan to give all three sons video game consoles…
This guest post comes from Mercedes Samudio, LCSW, a parent coach who helps parents achieve dynamic parent/child relationships, ending the shame around parenting and giving parents the confidence to raise healthy…
Since the 1990’s, when Dr. Jay Giedd and his colleagues at the National Institute for Mental Health published their pioneering research about adolescent brain development, more than a dozen authors…
When teens abuse any kind of drug – legal or illegal, prescription or OTC – it can disrupt ongoing brain development in the prefrontal cortex, with lifelong consequences. This guest post comes from…
In a separate post, I quoted Dr. Jay Giedd, the pioneering brain researcher who discovered that the prefrontal cortex (PFC) is still under development during a child’s adolescence, that this is…
The second 10 years of a child’s life is their last opportunity to prepare for the challenges of adult life. This guest post was written by Elisabeth Stitt, a parenting expert…
Remember the plane that crash-landed in the Hudson River in 2009? And the heroism of the pilot who kept his cool, saving everyone on board? In 2016 Clint Eastwood has…
As a parent, you have four ways of taking action… You do what other people tell you to do. Husband. Friend. Relative. Your TV. You react instinctively, emotionally. You unconsciously act out of…
Epictetus (c. 55 – 135) was born a slave in Turkey nearly 2,000 years ago and then lived in Rome until he was banished to Greece. He was one of…
I have a 15-year-old nephew. The last time I saw him he was doing what most kids his age are doing: sitting on a couch browsing his smartphone. At the…
This guest post comes from parent coach Fern Weis. After teaching middle school for 13 years, she trained as a life coach and founded her business, Your Family Matters, in…
Is your child resilient? Do you want your child to be more resilient? A non-scientific definition: Resilience is the ability to recover or “bounce back” from loss, stress, or disappointment…
“Raising a child to be a successful, happy, independent adult is the hardest thing a person can do.” I have often repeated this cliché. Because it’s true. Unlike previous generations,…
How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success (Holt, 2015), by Julie Lythcott-Haims, is the best book ever written about the…
On the occasion of my 50th class reunion, I remembered some of my West Point classmates. One in particular, I’ll call him Joey Sheed, graduated near the top of our…
Do you have a teenager who sometimes looks to the future and wonders how he or she is going to make it in the world? If you do, count your blessings….
A friend of mine grew up in a family of 12 children. Her mom spent most of her day managing the office of her father, a successful lawyer, and politician….
I was fortunate to have two parents while growing up: a father and a mother who loved me. They were good people. They did everything they knew how to take…
Parenting author and coach Elisabeth Stitt hosted a series of 20 conversations with men who have focused on helping other men to be great fathers. What they have to say is…
Dad lets his son borrow the car. “Be sure to have it back by six. I’ve got an important place to be tonight.” “No problem, Dad.” Six o’clock comes and…
What every parent knows: unconditional love is the foundation. But child misbehavior can temporarily make it hard to access this love, much less express it. In its place, your instinctive negative reaction: frustration, fatigue,…
Reading Parenting…As a Second Language is like chatting with a wise, compassionate woman who’s experienced every aspect of being a parent. It’s more like a conversation than listening to simple advice….
In his classic parenting book, The Wonder of Boys, psychologist Michael Gurian claims that “three families – not one” are needed to raise a healthy child to be a happy,…
During the first few months of life, parents show lots of colorful, noise-making objects to their infant. Slowly, the baby learns to pay attention. The child is doing the work to program the neural…
One of the cries of the heart from many of the parents of grown children is that their kids are still living at home, that they don’t have the focus…
This guest post is authored by Kristine Tye, M.A. MFT, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California who specializes in anxiety treatment and teen mental health. She engages teens in a…
Being an effective parent, guiding your child toward becoming a capable, happy, independent adult…this is now a part of your life. And life isn’t easy, not for anyone. For all…
Wayne Dyer, a prolific personal development author, died from a heart attack last year at the age of 75. I’d been a huge fan for over 20 years, beginning with…
This guest post comes from parent coach Fern Weis. After teaching middle school for 13 years, she trained as a life coach and founded her business, Your Family Matters, in 2008. Since…
Conscious, caring parents often realize they can get better results by trying more effective approaches. But it’s not that simple. Inevitably, most people get discouraged when they try to improve…
What informs my insights about parenting? Often it’s what I read in the local paper. One morning not longer ago I read two stories about youth coaches in the San…
Deborah Gilboa, MD, is a family physician practicing in Pittsburgh, PA, author of four parenting books, featured parenting expert on television and Huffington Post, speaker, and mother of four boys. She…
I recently streamed the movie, About Sunny, starring Lauren Ambrose, an accomplished but relatively unknown young actress. Whenever a movie is excellent in every way and I want Netflix to…
I often mention that teenagers have a “full plate.” The demands on their time can be stress-producing, even overwhelming. Part of the reason for this is that to arrive at…
This guest post comes from Deborah Gilboa, MD (popularly known as Dr. G), an internationally renowned parenting and youth development expert. She is also a family physician and mom of…
The father lets his son borrow the car. “Be sure to have it back by six. I’ll need it later tonight.” “No problem, Dad.” Six o’clock comes and goes. With no…
When they’re little you read to them, hoping they’ll learn to love books and reading and learning. Before you know it they’re in school, beginning a learning journey that will…
What will the next step be? College? A job? Technical training? A gap year? Missionary work? Military service? Marriage and a family? Every parent who has raised a teenager to…
I was thinking about my mother recently. A few months before she died, Mom and I were talking on the phone about my seven brothers and sisters. I joked that she…
This guest post comes from Elisabeth Stitt of Joyful Parenting Coaching. A veteran teacher turned parenting coach and blogger, she knows that kids and families come in all different shapes…
Forty years ago, I was in graduate school at Duke University, in over my head, studying hard and learning as much as I could to catch up with my better-prepared classmates. It paid…
As we prepared to go the gym for our morning workout, my wife discovered that she had misplaced her car keys. We searched for ten minutes and finally found them…
It’s been said many, many times that parenting a teenager may be the hardest thing you ever do. It can sometimes seem like a thankless, hopeless endeavor. You have your…
You may have heard it said that “Few people are good listeners.” While this may ring true, I know you’d like to be a better listener for your teen. The benefits…
These days, parents hear a lot about the “teen brain” in the popular media. The message is that the “prefrontal cortex” (PFC), the area of the brain in charge of…
In another article, I made the point that to prepare for the significant challenges of adult life, a child has to learn a lot more than what is taught in school….
Compliments. Praise. Recognition. Affirmation. Gratitude. Appreciation. Positive feedback. Positive strokes. Pats on the back. Constructive feedback. Good stuff! Unfortunately, most of the feedback we give our kids is negative. You…
Studying well in school is important. Those 12 years – and university – are important. But along the way, a young person needs to learn many non-academic skills and strengths that are…
Did you read my review of Reset Your Child’s Brain (2015), by Victoria Dunckley? Dunckley is a psychiatrist who has treated hundreds of young people who suffered from behavior disorders…
If you’ve never gone to war or if you’ve never had to stay behind when your spouse is deployed, you can never fully appreciate the worry, loneliness and hardship of…
Thanks to Maureen Denard at FindaNanny.net for this guest post. The adolescent years can stress a parent-child relationship. This article has several practical ideas for helping the bond to grow…
One of the most important aspects of adolescent development is what experts refer to as the “teen brain.” And the big issue with the teen brain is the development of…
During the past 30 years, I’ve had the chance to meet and talk with quite a few sons and daughters of wealthy people. It isn’t easy to start a business…
IF (1) you have an adolescent child or one who is soon to reach puberty, and (2) you’re a conscious parent who is looking for wisdom and guidance to avoid the…
Guest post by Kari Kampakis, author of 10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know. When I became a mom, I got lots of advice on how to love my child. But…
Kids can learn a lot from experience. But that doesn’t mean they will, just because something happened to them. Most of the time young people go from one life event to another without learning…
In 2014 a huge tornado devastated a small town in Oklahoma, killing 24 people. Stories and images of the destruction were all over the Internet, the newspapers and television news. The…
The thing I appreciate most about Michael Gurian’s parenting books is their focus on brain science. I’ve studied the human brain for 25 years, and I can tell you that…
I accidentally help wire my boys’ teen brain for critical thinking. It was Christmas 1982, and like all parents at the time, I knew nothing about the teen brain. But…
Between Parent & Teenager (1967), by Dr. Haim G. Ginott, was published before many of today’s parents of teenagers were born. Ginott, who has been dead for forty years, was…
Helicopter parenting has been the focus of quite a few articles in the media. Parents over-praising their kids because they feel it promotes self-esteem, even though in the long run…
Hey, moms and dads! What are you feeding the kiddos for breakfast? Their favorite cereal? So easy! So many choices – both sides of an entire aisle at the grocery…
Published seven years after his classic business book, The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People (1990), this book is a classic in its own right. Its underlying premise is that…
Have you seen the movie, “Lonesome Jim” (2005)? Starring Casey Affleck and Liv Tyler, it’s the story of a man in his late twenties who, after failing to create a…
I’ve written two books, Conversations with the Wise Uncle (for boys) and Conversations with the Wise Aunt (for girls) that are fictional accounts about an older relative mentoring a young person during the teen…
Recently I had an interesting conversation with an IT executive about his technical staff, and we ended up talking about “millennials,” the generation of adults currently in their twenties and…
When Leo was growing up, his father rented a farm and worked it to raise crops. His dad needed his son’s help, so he taught the boy how to use…
Drinking alcohol with the expressed purpose of getting “messed up”? Believe it or not, this is an activity practiced mostly by kids. Watch this brief video… What can a parent…
In another post, I wrote about a terrific parenting book called CDO Chief Daddy Officer: The Business of Fatherhood, by Chris Efessiou. A highly successful business leader and father, he…
My dad was a really nice guy. But I remember that when I was a teenager, he lost his temper with me three times. Yes, exactly three times. And the…
My preference is to think of spirituality as being grounded in this world and this life, not in a concept of a world and life beyond the here and now….
Most parents think of their child as “officially” an adolescent when they technically become a teenager on their 13th birthday. And they think their project of raising the child to…
This is a unique book on parenting. Chris Efessiou, a highly successful entrepreneur and executive, believes that the personal strengths and interpersonal skills essential to effective leadership also apply to…
For many young people, low self-esteem comes with the territory. They don’t want to be thought of as children anymore, but they know they’re not adults. They lack the knowledge,…
Over the decades, a lot of bad advice for parents has been published. Strategies such as false praise, helicopter parenting and permissiveness may have played to parents’ fears of losing…
Not long ago I was sitting at a table drinking coffee and talking with Johann Eyfells, the world-famous Icelandic sculptor. At some point, I used the word “luck.” He quickly…
Jennifer was a clerk at an auto parts store in Vista Hills. She got the job because Jackson, her husband, was a mechanic at the Chevrolet dealership and was friends…
Most mornings it’s still dark when I leave my driveway to head to the gym. Often during the school year as I pass a certain intersection, I see a car with…
I have a friend whose dad had a personal library of several thousand books. When my friend was about ten years old, his dad enrolled him in a speed-reading course….
Many parents think that when you forgive a young person, you’re doing something for the child. Yes, your child may regret doing something that hurt your feelings and may have…
A successful, happy life. I guess everybody knows it takes more than than money and beauty. Just ask Bernie Madoff. And guess what…It also takes a lot more than a…
Adolescence is a perilous time. This is the period from about age 10 until the early 20s when the prefrontal cortex is going through the critical “use it or lose…
Do you have a teenager in your life? I ask this question a lot these days, because a young person’s developmental experience during the dozen or so years called adolescence…
Raising a child is hard. We’d like to believe that all you need to do is appreciate the miracle of the child and reach out with love at every moment. But…