One of the cries of the heart from many of the parents of grown children is that their kids are still living at home, that they don’t have the focus and will to make their way in life.

Parents know that making a life for yourself involves hard work.

But the kids don’t seem to get it. It’s as if they don’t understand work. The pattern they’re familiar with is a dependency on mom and dad. There’s no fire in the belly.

There’s no mystery to this. If that’s the way these young adults are, it’s a pattern they learned during adolescence. Why work if your parents always give you what you want? Why put in the effort if your parents rescue you and do the hard things for you? Why learn a trade or prepare for a career if you’re going to inherit a trust fund?

Read this brief article about Anderson Cooper, one of the most successful TV journalists in the world. He gives credit to his mother, Gloria Vanderbilt, one of the wealthiest women in the world.

And one of the smartest. My guess is that she instinctively used many of the recommendations in my new book: How Your Teen Can Grow a Smarter Brain.

You can grow the bond with your child through better listening. Download the FREE ebook, Listening to Understand.