My book, How Your Teen Can Grow a Smarter Brain, and most of the hundreds of articles on this blog, address how to encourage, support and coach a young person…
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You don’t want your teen to smoke cigarettes. You don’t want your teen smoke marijuana. There’s the danger that normal development of the prefrontal cortex will be disrupted, with permanent…
First, here’s what I mean by “smart.” One long-accepted understanding of “smart” involves acquiring knowledge: learning facts and basic principles. This is the primary business of middle school and high…
Imagine this scenario… A well-rounded, accomplished teen boy raised in a wholesome, supportive family is asked by a girl he believes is romantically interested in him, a stranger he met…
A friend once told me a story about his older brother. My friend was a top student and multi-sport athlete in high school, and he eventually got a football scholarship…
Not long ago, I had a conversation with a local physician. Happily, we didn’t talk about my health. Instead, he spoke enthusiastically about his three children, two boys and a…
I saw something striking shopping for groceries the other day. A young boy, about 13 years old, was walking just ahead of his parents. No, not walking. Sort of dancing,…
What does it mean to be a parent? Every spring, a pair of swallows arrives at our front porch to update their nest and nurture offspring. A month or so…
What’s happening as an adolescent child matures toward adulthood is complicated, so it’s important to know what’s going on. But when parents are given insightful information, their first question is:…
I recently had breakfast with some friends who have a graduating high school senior. He’s a great kid who wants to be a speech therapist and has been accepted into…
Caring parents who consider the advice of experts are on a journey to “get better” at raising well-adjusted adults who succeed in life and work. But it’s not easy. It’s…
Here’s the overview: Over a dozen basic foundation thinking skills need to be wired during adolescence. Lots of repetitions are needed to establish skill circuits in the brain. This happens…
With a new documentary, the “Lorena Bobbitt story” is in the media again. Do you remember her – the woman who, almost 30 years ago, was raped by her husband;…
In my new book, How Your Teen Can Grow a Smarter Brain, I explain that adolescence is a sensitive time window for developing foundation thinking skills in the prefrontal cortex…
Recently I stood gazing out a street-facing window of a restaurant. A couple sat at an outdoor table on the sidewalk. Both were busy interacting with their smartphones. Across the…
Every parent I’ve ever met hopes their teen will grow up to be a capable, successful adult, even though we all have seen instances of the opposite. Realistically, wonderful things…
I recently had a conversation with a local physician. Happily, we didn’t talk about my health. Instead, he spoke enthusiastically about his three children, two boys and a girl, all…
It happens on a regular basis. Someone you know – a friend, a spouse, a child, a co-worker – will come to you frustrated because he’s having problems. If you’re…
People sometimes ask me, “What’s your favorite book about parenting?” It’s a good question, because there are hundreds of parenting books to choose from. But for me, it’s not a…
Should you give advice? The answer is the same whether you’re relating to another adult or to a teenager. One of my friends has an interesting idiosyncrasy. Whenever we talk,…
As you may have heard, my new book, How Your Teen Can Grow a Smarter Brain, is now available on Amazon. Several people have commented on the title, that “growing…
First, a new word: “esports.” Makes you think that playing video games is a legitimate sport, something like poker, which is featured on ESPN and in the sports sections of…
A “feral child” is one who spent a significant part of early childhood isolated from civilization, often raised by wild animals. A consistent theme of these stories is that the foundlings…
In my posts, “Video Game Addiction and Brain Damage” and “Teen Smartphones and Social Networking – Buyer Beware” I described potential threats to normal teen brain development. If you read these…
My doctor asked me if I drink alcohol. I told her I usually have a glass of red wine with dinner and another glass later. She said, “That’s probably OK….
My wife and I share a lot in common, but in one interesting way, we are quite different. She drinks a lot of water every day. Wherever she goes, she…
This guest post comes from Paige Johnson, who advises on weightlifting and strength training. . . . . . . . The nutrition habits your teens develop now will impact…
In my first draft of the above title, the word “Underprivileged” appeared before “Kids.” But the game I’m talking about is chess, which can help make any kid smarter, not…
One of the underlying themes of my writing is that parents of teens need to be realistic. But being realistic doesn’t necessarily imply some kind of worst-case scenario. Because realistically,…
Billions of human beings follow their separate paths, steps followed by steps largely unknown to the people around them – even friends and acquaintances. This limited ability to know for sure…
After puberty, every normal child will develop the ability to procreate, which includes this necessary element: sexual desire. This is a good thing for the young person and the human…
“Every year, teens are asked about their general happiness, in addition to how they spend their time. We found that teens who spent more time seeing their friends in person,…
During the first 12 years, you may have enjoyed a close, affectionate relationship with your child. But after puberty, things change. Your child wants to put early childhood in the past, and…
Most people have heard about distracted driving but don’t really understand what’s going on. Give a teen a link to this post. It might help save his or her life….
As I write this, it seems as if the news reports a new story of high-profile sexual misconduct every day. A few days ago, a story of over 180 sexual…
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” I love this quote. For me, this plea for compassion hits home more than any other quote on the…
It’s true that when you came into this world, most of your situation was beyond your control. You didn’t get to choose the time in history you would appear or…
About the teen brain, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good news. Nearly every adult I talk to these days has heard about the teen brain. Fifteen…
The past, the present, and the future. Here are some things to keep in mind. The past doesn’t exist. Once you’ve experienced something, that moment is lost forever, except as…
I recently had a fascinating discussion about the adolescent brain with parent coach Andrea Zacharias. If you want to know more about what I do and think about every day,…
What is self-esteem, anyway? Why is it important to a growing child? Why does it turn out to be a tough issue? What can parents do to nurture stronger self-esteem?…
How much wisdom did you have when you were 13? What did you know? More to the point, what insights about life – which could have helped you a lot…
Smartphones are an amazing window into a world of countless marvels and dangers. Since kids have a lot to learn, giving a child a smartphone needs to be done with exquisite…
If you read my post about the mixed bag of wonders/dangers of smartphones and social networking, your eyes are wide open about pornography, cyberbullying, stranger danger, sexual predators, identity theft,…
Today, most phone calls are made using wireless smartphones, relayed by Wi-Fi devices in your home or distant radio towers. What we used to call telephones are now called landlines,…
If you’ve read about the teen brain, you know it’s mostly about a child’s final stage of brain development, during which the prefrontal cortex (PFC) is wired for foundation critical…
Money matters can get complicated. Buying what you need and want while living within your means. Purchasing the right amount of insurance. Investing wisely and saving for your child’s college…
When it comes to sex education, parents need to learn more about how our culture sexualizes their kids. This guest post, which addresses this “blind spot,” comes from Elizabeth McDade-Montez,…
You see those beautiful eyes and that heart-melting smile. What you don’t see (and probably rarely think about) is what’s going on in your child’s brain, which is steadily growing,…
We were excited. Bewick’s wrens had been building a nest in the little house we had put up to attract them. We watched for days as the male and female…
When I was a kid there were no parenting books, unless you want to count Dr. Benjamin Spock’s classic on baby and child care. Parents were guided by their instincts,…
Parenting Fundamentals 1-5 were presented in Part One. Here are 6-10: 6. Help your child build a strong work ethic. When I was 15 I mowed my aunt’s lawn with…
I’ve been researching, studying, and writing about parenting for several years now, and the other day I was taken by surprise by something new. Adulting I had never heard the…
A few years ago I wrote a book for middle school boys, called Conversations with the Wise Uncle. I then wrote a similar book for young girls. My purpose was…
In the adult world, dating is like an audition. An acquaintance asks you out to dinner or an event, which will give you time together to learn more about each…
I know that not everyone wants to “be all you can be.” Not everyone is serious enough about personal growth to do something about it. A whole lot of people…
Why would a teenager do something as stupid as engaging in one of the teen challenges, such as binge-drinking, or swallowing a spoonful of cinnamon, or snorting a condom. Quite…
One evening when I was 14, I was sitting on my bed reading a novel when my mom walked past my door. Then she came back, stood in the door,…
Once upon a time, when my youngest boy was about 18 years old, we were walking together and he asked me, “Dad, what does masculinity mean to you?” A loaded…
How could viewing over 25 paintings by early San Antonio artist Julian Onderdonk make me think of video game addiction? It happened. The San Antonio Museum of Art recently featured the…
The surveys and statistics bear it out: teens are misusing drugs and alcohol at younger and younger ages. Parents are often unaware that it’s begun, since the warning signs can…
Disconnected, a new book by Thomas Kersting, documents the horrible effects of excessive screen time on children. One of the most insidious technologies is video games, because of its ability to…
Simon Sinek is an author and brilliant speaker who has important messages for corporate America. So why am I recommending that parents listen in? The answer: Millennials – a new, really different…
If you read news articles, you know that it’s not uncommon to read about murder. I learn about such incidents all too often; I reflect on the loss of life,…
I stood under the front entrance canopy of the H.E.B. grocery store as I watched cold rain pouring onto the parking lot. Slowly moving toward me was a young woman…
I recently spoke with a mother of three boys, ages 11, 13 and 15. She told me she and her husband plan to give all three sons video game consoles…
Doctors routinely warn women to avoid smoking and using alcohol or drugs during pregnancy. Why? Because the unborn child’s body and brain are slowly developing, and the mother’s blood provides…
So much of what I write about has to do with adolescent kids and how parents can take maximum advantage of this precious time. Along the way I’ve come to…
This guest post comes from Mercedes Samudio, LCSW, a parent coach who helps parents achieve dynamic parent/child relationships, ending the shame around parenting and giving parents the confidence to raise healthy…
I learned to never disagree with my dad. For reasons I’ve never fully understood, the few times that I expressed a contrary point of view — when I was old…
Since the 1990’s, when Dr. Jay Giedd and his colleagues at the National Institute for Mental Health published their pioneering research about adolescent brain development, more than a dozen authors…
It was the summer of 1960, and I was 15. Elvis’ active duty service in the Army was behind him, and John Kennedy was running for President. My father, a…
When teens abuse any kind of drug – legal or illegal, prescription or OTC – it can disrupt ongoing brain development in the prefrontal cortex, with lifelong consequences. This guest post comes from…
In a separate post, I quoted Dr. Jay Giedd, the pioneering brain researcher who discovered that the prefrontal cortex (PFC) is still under development during a child’s adolescence, that this is…
For readers who are unfamiliar with Dr. Jay Giedd’s work, he entered the Residency Program at the Menninger School of Psychiatry, transferred to the Barrow Neurological Institute and completed his…
The second 10 years of a child’s life is their last opportunity to prepare for the challenges of adult life. This guest post was written by Elisabeth Stitt, a parenting expert…
Remember the plane that crash-landed in the Hudson River in 2009? And the heroism of the pilot who kept his cool, saving everyone on board? In 2016 Clint Eastwood has…
Abraham J. Weiss, MA. is a marriage and family therapist on the staff of Family Enhancement LLC, in New York City. In this brief article, he shares a vastly important…
My wife and I often go to Corpus Christi to visit her sister and husband. Since their son now has a young daughter and their oldest daughter has two daughters…
As a parent, you have four ways of taking action… You do what other people tell you to do. Husband. Friend. Relative. Your TV. You react instinctively, emotionally. You unconsciously act out of…
When your child gets involved in an activity, it will probably involve learning certain skills. Home/life skills? Relationship skills? Athletic? Musical? Artistic? Mechanical? Construction? Academic? Thinking? Managing? If some of…
Epictetus (c. 55 – 135) was born a slave in Turkey nearly 2,000 years ago and then lived in Rome until he was banished to Greece. He was one of…
Kids learn better when movement and exercise are a part of their day. This guest post comes to us from Lizzy Bullock, writer and swim instructor for AquaGear. Children in…
I have a 15-year-old nephew. The last time I saw him he was doing what most kids his age are doing: sitting on a couch browsing his smartphone. At the…
I’ve written extensively about the development of the prefrontal cortex (PFC) during adolescence. At puberty, a child’s PFC undergoes a “second blooming,” which begins a roughly 12-year period of development….
This guest post comes from parent coach Fern Weis. After teaching middle school for 13 years, she trained as a life coach and founded her business, Your Family Matters, in…
The place to start is to get clear about what resilience is. Here’s a non-scientific definition: The ability to recover or “bounce back” from loss, stress, or disappointment – setbacks that can…
“Raising a child to be a successful, happy, independent adult is the hardest thing a person can do.” I have often repeated this cliché. Because it’s true. Unlike previous generations,…
Mindful – an often-used word. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, it means “aware of something that may be important.” Aware – feel or experience something Something that may be important….
Out of love, many parents hover over their kids to protect them from distress or harm, to make sure they feel good about themselves and to assure they are launched…
The idea that your child could be abusing alcohol or illegal drugs is scary enough. In fact, you also need to be aware that he or she could be abusing the over-the-counter…
How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success (Holt, 2015), by Julie Lythcott-Haims, is the best book ever written about the…
I’ve posted before about the importance of critical thinking and the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for a young person to lay down a foundation of critical thinking skills in the developing prefrontal cortex…
On the occasion of my 50th class reunion, I remembered some of my West Point classmates. One in particular, I’ll call him Joseph (Joey) Sheed, graduated at the top of…
When you were in high school, did you take that Parent-Child Relationship Skills course? I’m sorry – trick question. No such course has ever been included in a high school curriculum. Well,…
Do you have a teenager who sometimes looks to the future and wonders how he or she is going to make it in the world? If you do, count your blessings….
A friend of mine grew up in a family of 12 children. Her mom spent most of her day managing the office of her father, a successful lawyer, and politician….
I was fortunate to have two parents while growing up: a father and a mother who loved me. They were good people. They did everything they knew how to take…
Parenting author and coach Elisabeth Stitt hosted a series of 20 conversations with men who have focused on helping other men to be great fathers. What they have to say is…
Dad lets his son borrow the car. “Be sure to have it back by six. I’ve got an important place to be tonight.” “No problem, Dad.” Six o’clock comes and…
What every parent knows: unconditional love is the foundation. But child misbehavior can temporarily make it hard to access this love, much less express it. In its place, your instinctive negative reaction: frustration, fatigue,…
Reading Parenting…As a Second Language is like chatting with a wise, compassionate woman who’s experienced every aspect of being a parent. It’s more like a conversation than listening to simple advice….
In his classic parenting book, The Wonder of Boys, psychologist Michael Gurian claims that “three families – not one” are needed to raise a healthy child to be a happy,…
During the first few months of life, parents show lots of colorful, noise-making objects to their infant. Slowly, the baby learns to pay attention. The child is doing the work to program the neural…
One of the cries of the heart from many of the parents of grown children is that their kids are still living at home, that they don’t have the focus…
This guest post is authored by Kristine Tye, M.A. MFT, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California who specializes in anxiety treatment and teen mental health. She engages teens in a…
Being an effective parent, guiding your child toward becoming a capable, happy, independent adult…this is now a part of your life. And life isn’t easy, not for anyone. For all…
Adults care a great deal about the youth in their communities. They want fewer kids to be at risk. They want more kids growing up to be strong, happy, successful…
Wayne Dyer, a prolific personal development author, died from a heart attack last year at the age of 75. I’d been a huge fan for over 20 years, beginning with…
This guest post comes from parent coach Fern Weis. After teaching middle school for 13 years, she trained as a life coach and founded her business, Your Family Matters, in 2008. Since…
Conscious, caring parents often realize they can get better results by trying more effective approaches. But it’s not that simple. Inevitably, most people get discouraged when they try to improve…
What informs my insights about parenting? Often it’s what I read in the local paper. One morning not longer ago I read two stories about youth coaches in the San…
Deborah Gilboa, MD, is a family physician practicing in Pittsburgh, PA, author of four parenting books, featured parenting expert on television and Huffington Post, speaker, and mother of four boys. She…
I recently streamed the movie, About Sunny, starring Lauren Ambrose, an accomplished but relatively unknown young actress. Whenever a movie is excellent in every way and I want Netflix to…
I often mention that teenagers have a “full plate.” The demands on their time can be stress-producing, even overwhelming. Part of the reason for this is that to arrive at…
When was the last time you were at odds with your teen? Your child wanted to do something that you considered unacceptable. You both felt justified, producing an argument or struggle that had the…
This guest post comes from Deborah Gilboa, MD (popularly known as Dr. G), an internationally renowned parenting and youth development expert. She is also a family physician and mom of…
The father lets his son borrow the car. “Be sure to have it back by six. I’ll need it later tonight.” “No problem, Dad.” Six o’clock comes and goes. With no…
Most of the 50 million parents of school-aged children in the U.S. are all too aware of the gauntlet of dangers that threaten when a child becomes an adolescent: under-age smoking…
When they’re little you read to them, hoping they’ll learn to love books and reading and learning. Before you know it they’re in school, beginning a learning journey that will…
Teenagers know they’re growing up, and they don’t like being treated like little kids. They need the wisdom and guidance of parents and other adults. But they hate lectures, sarcasm,…
What will the next step be? College? A job? Technical training? A gap year? Missionary work? Military service? Marriage and a family? Every parent who has raised a teenager to…
I was thinking about my mother recently. A few months before she died, Mom and I were talking on the phone about my seven brothers and sisters. I joked that she…
This guest post comes from Elisabeth Stitt of Joyful Parenting Coaching. A veteran teacher turned parenting coach and blogger, she knows that kids and families come in all different shapes…
For the past several years my wife, Kathleen Scott, has contributed dozens of articles to the San Antonio Express-News travel and lifestyle sections. She has also been working on the third draft…
Forty years ago, I was in graduate school at Duke University, in over my head, studying hard and learning as much as I could to catch up with my better-prepared classmates. It paid…
To be the best listener you can be, I believe you need two, closely related skills: active listening and empathy. I learned active listening in 1976, and I’ve been practicing…
As we prepared to go the gym for our morning workout, my wife discovered that she had misplaced her car keys. We searched for ten minutes and finally found them…
It’s been said many, many times that parenting a teenager may be the hardest thing you ever do. It can sometimes seem like a thankless, hopeless endeavor. You have your…
You may have heard it said that “Few people are good listeners.” While this may ring true, I know you’d like to be a better listener for your teen. The benefits…
These days, parents hear a lot about the “teen brain” in the popular media. The message is that the “prefrontal cortex” (PFC), the area of the brain in charge of…
In another article, I made the point that to prepare for the significant challenges of adult life, a child has to learn a lot more than what is taught in school….
In this piece, I reference an interesting video. Even though you may find it shocking, watch it all the way through. Don’t click off just because you think it’s disgusting….
Compliments. Praise. Recognition. Affirmation. Gratitude. Appreciation. Positive feedback. Positive strokes. Pats on the back. Constructive feedback. Good stuff! Unfortunately, most of the feedback we give our kids is negative. You…
Studying well in school is important. Those 12 years – and university – are important. But along the way, a young person needs to learn many non-academic skills and strengths that are…
Did you read my review of Reset Your Child’s Brain (2015), by Victoria Dunckley? Dunckley is a psychiatrist who has treated hundreds of young people who suffered from behavior disorders…
If you’ve never gone to war or if you’ve never had to stay behind when your spouse is deployed, you can never fully appreciate the worry, loneliness and hardship of…
Thanks to Maureen Denard at FindaNanny.net for this guest post. The adolescent years can stress a parent-child relationship. This article has several practical ideas for helping the bond to grow…
One of the most important aspects of adolescent development is what experts refer to as the “teen brain.” And the big issue with the teen brain is the development of…
A teenager made a dumb mistake and damaged a tool. His father, angry, shouted at him about carelessness and irresponsibility. No love, understanding or respect was communicated in the heated…
In my book, How Your Teen Can Grow a Smarter Brain, I describe as simply as possible something of utmost importance: the part of the brain that makes a human…
During the past 30 years, I’ve had the chance to meet and talk with quite a few sons and daughters of wealthy people. It isn’t easy to start a business…
Special guest post by Winter Amity, freelance writer on technology and parenting topics. These days, children are exposed to a huge variety of media, and parents can get understandably upset…
Self-esteem is how people see themselves – their perception of self-worth, who they believe they are. Low self-esteem can build from making mistakes, from not forgiving oneself, and from too…
IF (1) you have an adolescent child or one who is soon to reach puberty, and (2) you’re a conscious parent who is looking for wisdom and guidance to avoid the…
I’m recalling a moderately adverse experience that started with a phone call. My wife was about to return home from a shopping excursion at a mall about 30 miles away when…
Guest post by Kari Kampakis, author of 10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know. When I became a mom, I got lots of advice on how to love my child. But…
Kids can learn a lot from experience. But that doesn’t mean they will, just because something happened to them. Most of the time young people go from one life event to another without learning…
One crucial step in helping your adolescent child build a superior mind is to protect the prefrontal cortex (PFC) from damage during adolescence – the developmental period for wiring the…
In 2014 a huge tornado devastated a small town in Oklahoma, killing 24 people. Stories and images of the destruction were all over the Internet, the newspapers and television news. The…
Listening is the most powerful skill a parent can have. It has the potential to “change the game” with regard to your relationship with your child. In my writing about this…
The thing I appreciate most about Michael Gurian’s parenting books is their focus on brain science. I’ve studied the human brain for 25 years, and I can tell you that…
Two decades ago, Michael Gurian’s best-selling book, The Wonder of Boys, created a stir. The push for women’s rights assumed the developmental needs of both genders were the same. Going against this assumption, he…
FASD stands for fetal alcohol spectrum disorder: a variety of permanent birth defects caused by the mother’s consumption of alcohol during pregnancy. The mother consumes alcohol, the substance travels to…
Often when I write about adolescence, I make reference to a part of the brain called the prefrontal cortex. To help you appreciate where that part of the brain is…
I accidentally help wire my boys’ teen brain for critical thinking. It was Christmas 1982, and like all parents at the time, I knew nothing about the teen brain. But…
Between Parent & Teenager (1967), by Dr. Haim G. Ginott, was published before many of today’s parents of teenagers were born. Ginott, who has been dead for forty years, was…
Helicopter parenting has been the focus of quite a few articles in the media. Parents over-praising their kids because they feel it promotes self-esteem, even though in the long run…
Whenever I think about positive self-esteem and its importance to the achievement, mental health, and happiness of young people, I think of how perilous a life journey can be. And I…
Every time a teenager tries to figure out why something happened, tries to understand the relationship between thing A and thing B, tries to see the connection between cause and…
Hey, moms and dads! What are you feeding the kiddos for breakfast? Their favorite cereal? So easy! So many choices – both sides of an entire aisle at the grocery…
Published seven years after his classic business book, The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People (1990), this book is a classic in its own right. Its underlying premise is that…
Have you seen the movie, “Lonesome Jim” (2005)? Starring Casey Affleck and Liv Tyler, it’s the story of a man in his late twenties who, after failing to create a…
I once coached a 43-year-old man who lived at home and had never worked a day in his life. At the time, interest rates had fallen to all-time lows, so…
I’ve written two books, Conversations with the Wise Uncle (for boys) and Conversations with the Wise Aunt (for girls) that are fictional accounts about an older relative mentoring a young person during the teen…
Recently I had an interesting conversation with an IT executive about his technical staff, and we ended up talking about “millennials,” the generation of adults currently in their twenties and…
When Leo was growing up, his father rented a farm and worked it to raise crops. His dad needed his son’s help, so he taught the boy how to use…
Drinking alcohol with the expressed purpose of getting “messed up”? Believe it or not, this is an activity practiced mostly by kids. Watch this brief video… What can a parent…
A few years ago my wife and I were doing some recreational house-hunting. While viewing a beautiful home, she commented, “I like this house but we’d need to replace all the…
In another post, I wrote about a terrific parenting book called CDO Chief Daddy Officer: The Business of Fatherhood, by Chris Efessiou. A highly successful business leader and father, he…
My dad was a really nice guy. But I remember that when I was a teenager, he lost his temper with me three times. Yes, exactly three times. And the…
My preference is to think of spirituality as being grounded in this world and this life, not in a concept of a world and life beyond the here and now….
Father: “Hey, son. I thought I asked you to clean and put away the tools after you use them.” Son: “Oh. Right.” Father: “Well, the tools you used last night…
Most parents think of their child as “officially” an adolescent when they technically become a teenager on their 13th birthday. And they think their project of raising the child to…
When I was in high school, I got an A in every subject I ever took. I didn’t find out until later that I hadn’t learned as much as I…
This is a unique book on parenting. Chris Efessiou, a highly successful entrepreneur and executive, believes that the personal strengths and interpersonal skills essential to effective leadership also apply to…
A new study has concluded that teenagers who smoke pot suffer a significant drop in IQ that persists even if they stop smoking it later in life. The article doesn’t…
For the past few years, I’ve been interviewing adults about their adolescent experiences. I always ask, “What did your parents tell you about sex?” Ninety-five percent of the time the…
If you’ve followed my blog, you know I often write about adolescence as the sensitive time of life during which a child’s prefrontal cortex can be wired for basic critical thinking…
The sound of the front door shutting announced that Ricardo was home from practice. His dad met him in the hallway. “How was it today?” “It was okay. We did…
For many young people, low self-esteem comes with the territory. They don’t want to be thought of as children anymore, but they know they’re not adults. They lack the knowledge,…
Over the decades, a lot of bad advice for parents has been published. Strategies such as false praise, helicopter parenting and permissiveness may have played to parents’ fears of losing…
It’s amazing what you see when you step outside the box. I’ve been focusing on the special challenge of raising teenagers for several years now, and I’ve been outside the…
I consider myself a serious thinker. But to be honest, I’m not an intellectual. I’m biased towards action. I have a Ph.D., but 95% of what I know today I…
Not long ago I was sitting at a table drinking coffee and talking with Johann Eyfells, the world-famous Icelandic sculptor. At some point, I used the word “luck.” He quickly…
Jennifer was a clerk at an auto parts store in Vista Hills. She got the job because Jackson, her husband, was a mechanic at the Chevrolet dealership and was friends…
For quite a while now, I’ve been involved in an anecdotal research project in which I interview adults about their experiences as teenagers. This effort has taught me a lot…
Most mornings it’s still dark when I leave my driveway to head to the gym. Often during the school year as I pass a certain intersection, I see a car with…
I have a friend whose dad had a personal library of several thousand books. When my friend was about ten years old, his dad enrolled him in a speed-reading course….
Many parents think that when you forgive a young person, you’re doing something for the child. Yes, your child may regret doing something that hurt your feelings and may have…
Teens are famous for doing wild and crazy things without thinking about the consequences. I shudder when I remember some of my own antics as a teenager. Of course one…
A successful, happy life. I guess everybody knows it takes more than than money and beauty. Just ask Bernie Madoff. And guess what…It also takes a lot more than a…
The book Conversations with the Wise Aunt has a chapter entitled “A Nice Way to Say No,” in which Aunt Maria explains to her niece, Trisha, how boys are different…
A few years ago, I had a reunion with some old high school buddies that I hadn’t seen in nearly 50 years. It was an amazing experience and a lot…
I’m just guessing, but it may be true that no teenager in the long history of planet Earth has ever been given “the brain talk,” even though it’s probably some…
Adolescence is a perilous time. This is the period from about age 10 until the early 20s when the prefrontal cortex is going through the critical “use it or lose…
Do you have a teenager in your life? I ask this question a lot these days, because a young person’s developmental experience during the dozen or so years called adolescence…
Raising a child is hard. We’d like to believe that all you need to do is appreciate the miracle of the child and reach out with love at every moment. But…
The human brain has a unique way of developing itself. A child’s brain develops in phases. During each phase, the basic foundation for a particular brain function – such as visual perception,…